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Marriage Help

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No one plans to become a broken family or a miserable couple. We marry because we yearn for a life-long, thriving relationship. Use these priorities to start.

PRIORITY ONE: Discover God’s design for marriage.
We must understand that every marriage is intended to be a masterpiece reflecting the marriage between God and His people. Marriage is the most frequent metaphor used in the Bible to describe God’s relationship with His people. In fact, writing to the Ephesians, Paul called marriage a “profound mystery” because the man represents Christ, the groom, while the woman represents His bride, the church. The marital union of husband and wife is a sacred reflection of the gospel itself.

PRIORITY TWO: Commit to a covenant marriage.
Today’s civil marriages are much like business contracts—easy to get into and easy to get out of. God’s covenant with His people was a promise to remain eternally faithful even if His people weren’t faithful in return. In covenant marriage, both spouses are committed for a lifetime—in sickness and health, for better or worse. They don’t threaten divorce or consider it as an option.

PRIORITY THREE: Pursue a passionate marriage.
Couples aren’t supposed to just stick it out and find a way to make their marriages survive. God calls us to pursue a passionate, thriving marriage. The Song of Solomon expresses the kind of love, joy and celebration God designed for marriage. That passion is built on much more than infatuation and sexual desire. It is rooted in the physical, emotional and spiritual intimacy God created couples to experience as a foretaste of the eternal unity, communion and intimacy we can have with God.

PRIORITY FOUR: Become heroic in marriage.
Christ made the ultimate sacrifice to rescue humanity. Writing to the Ephesians, Paul connected Christ’s sacrifice directly to marriage: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25) and “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands” (Ephesians 5:24). In other words, mutual submission to one another requires giving up our own interests to heroically serve the other person.

PRIORITY FIVE: Fight for your marriage.
Everyone messes up. Too often, however, they also choose to give up. Throughout scripture, God fights for His relationship with His people, remaining faithful in the face of unfaithfulness. He forgives again and again. No couple can avoid strife and arguments, but we can avoid giving the “devil a foothold” in our marriages by keeping short accounts and quickly restoring the relationship regardless of what happens. 

Recommended Reads
It Starts At Home

by Kurt Bruner and Steve Stroope explains why marriage is a key path of our spiritual formation and provides practical advice for intentional couples. Buy on Amazon.

The Marriage Masterpiece

by Al Janssen unveils the beauty of God's design for every marriage. Buy on Amazon.

Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem

by Dennis and Barbara Rainey shows why one of the most vital ingredients in a marriage today is to build one anothers self-esteem. Buy on Amazon.

Love and Respect

by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs discusses a powerful biblical model for each spouse understanding and meeting the other's most deeply felt need. Buy on Amazon.

The Five Love Languages

by Gary Chapman describes how to discover and serve your spouses unique love language. Buy on Amazon.

A Celebration of Sex

by Dr. Douglas Rosenau is a guide to enjoying God’s gift of sexual intimacy. Buy on Amazon.

Finding the Hero in Your Husband

by Julianna Slattery ahows couples the path to experience genuine partnership that is honor-based and empowering for both husband and wife. Buy on Amazon.

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